Beautiful Disaster
by darkangel1890
Summary: Izzie finds herself flirting with plastics, as well as a certain conceited plastic surgeon- Mark Sloan. But when tragedy strikes in both of their lives, she realizes there is much more to him, and they learn they can find comfort in each other :McStizzie:
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone! I know I haven't writting a story in a very long time, but I've missed fanfiction tons so I decided to come back and give it a shot. This story was originally my cousin Katrina's (SeriouslyMcGuilty- fanfiction [dot] net/u/1416652/SeriouslyMcGuilty ) story, but she has taken an infinite break from fanfiction, so she's decided to let me take it over. She only wrote a couple chapters of this story, and told me she wanted me to finish it. So here it is. I've changed a few things, but the basic story is still here. So please bare with me while I get back into the groove of writing :-) Please R&R, I'd love to know what you think!

_Nessa_

Oh, and this story takes place right after Derek first kissed Rose. I know that happened a long time ago, but yeah.

* * *

Chapter 1

"Doctor Stevens," Doctor Mark Sloan said, stepping aside to let the young resident get closer to the patient. "Do you want to try?" he asked.

Izzie smiled brightly as she looked up at Doctor Sloan. "Yes, I'd love to," she said, standing in the place he had been standing moments ago.

"Now, you need to be very careful. Skin grafts are extremely delicate procedures," he said, hoping she was ready for this. He had been observing her for the past couple weeks. He was failry confident in the young resident. He had never dreamed she would be th type to be interested in Plastics, but she had shown much potential in the field, alone with an apparent growing interest.

"Yes Sir," she said, taking a deep breath before beginning. "Dermatome," she said confidently, holding out her hand for the instrument.

"Now, carefully cut the epidermis and dermis along the dotted lines I've made," he said, leaning over, watching her closely.

Izzie did as she was told and when she had successfully cut the area of skin indicated away; she set the tool down and gently picked up the skin.

"Now place it, carefully, on her face," Mark said, instructing her precisely.

Izzie did exactly as the attending instructed, and placed the skin on the patient's cheek before stepping back.

Mark looked at her strangely for a moment before speaking. "Do you plan on attaching the graft to the patient, or where you planning on just leaving it the way it is?" he asked, wavering slightly in his decision to let her do the graft.

"I'm sorry Doctor Sloan, I figured you were going to attach it," she said, surprised he was going to let her do the entire graft.

"Well I was going to let you do it since you had been doing such a nice job, but I see I assumed you could handle it," he said, turning to the patient. Maybe he had over estimated her readiness for the task.

"I can," Izzie said, stepping back up, hoping he moment of hesitation hadn't destroyed his confidence in her.

"This takes skill and confidence," Sloan said, looking at Izzie.

"Then it should be no problem," she said, looking back at him, letting him know she could handle this.

Mark looked at her for a moment before stepping aside once again to let Izzie finish the job.

Izzie smiled to herself before finishing the procedure.

- - - - -

Izzie sat down at the table where Meredith, George, Cristina, and Alex were all eating lunch.

"What are you so happy about?" Alex asked, noticing the bright look on Izzie's face.

"I just rocked a surgery," she said, taking a bight of her turkey sandwich.

"Weren't you on Sloan's service today?" Meredith asked, surprised that Sloan had let Izzie do anything. He wasn't usually the type to let anyone else do anything in his OR.

"Yes I was," she said, with her mouth full, still beaming at her friends.

"Wait a minute, you rocked one of Sloan's surgeries?" Alex asked, surprise clearly written on his face.

"Sure did. I kicked ass," she said, still smiling.

"More like kissed ass," Cristina commented, never once having looked up at her.

Izzie's smile faded slightly. "Excuse me?"

"What'd you do, meet him in the on-call room?" she asked, jokingly, finally letting her eyes leave whatever she was reading.

Izzie laughed as she took another bight of her food. "I'm sorry, is that the sound of a loser who worked in the pit all day?" Izzie asked, smirking.

Cristina rolled her eyes before returning to reading.

"Well good job Iz," Meredith said, smiling.

Izzie smiled before looking at George. "George, it was amazing! He let me do the whole thing myself," she said, gloating.

"He probably wants to see whats underneath your scrubs," Alex said, laughing slightly. That had to be why he let her do it. Why else would Mark Sloan let Izzie do anything herself?

"What? You don't think that maybe, just maybe, he thinks I show a talent in his field?" she asked, clearly hurt by his accusations.

"Right, you and plastics? I don't think so," Alex said, laughing again.

Izzie rolled her eyes. "You know what Alex, you're just jealous that he lets me actually do surgeries and only uses you as his little secretary," she said, standing up. "Make sure you don't forget what kind of coffee he likes and where to pick up his dry cleaning next time you're on his service," she said, walking away angrily.

Meredith gave Alex a dirty look before standing up and going after Izzie.

"Iz," she said, catching up with Izzie.

"Why is he such an ass?" Izzie asked, pressing the button for the elevator. She didn't know what she ever saw in Alex Karev. Sure, he was sensitve and caring deep down somewhere, but he made sure to hide it with his snide remarks.

"I have no idea," Meredith said, sighing. "But you know he's just jealous, and he likes to push your buttons," she said, looking at Izzie.

"I know, but it gets a little old," Izzie said, stepping into the elevator.

"I know," Meredith said, following her.

The doors opened and Doctor Sloan stepped in. He looked at Izzie and smiled as he pressed the button for the 3rd floor.

"Great job today Stevens," he said, still smiling.

Izzie blushed slightly and looked away as she muttered "Thanks."

When the doors opened again, she hurried out of the elevator, with Meredith trailing not far behind her.

"Oh my God," Meredith said, looking at Izzie.

"What?" Izzie asked, trying to pretend she had no idea why Meredith was looking at her like that.

"Seriously?" Meredith said, standing in front of Izzie with her arms crossed over her chest.

"What?" Izzie asked, turning redder.

"You have the hots for McSteamy," she said, looking at her, surprised.

"No..no," she said, looking away. There was no way that she had a thing for the biggest man whore known to man.

"Ok really? Then why did you blush like a little school girl when he complimented you?" she asked, smiling with a all too knowing look.

"Meredith, I so did not blush," she said, as if Meredith were being completely absurd.

Meredith laughed lightly. "Right. And I was never a dirty mistress."

"Well I mean, sure he is kind of hot, but I don't have the _hots_ for him," Izzie said, deliberately not looking at Meredith.

"And kind of a man whore," Meredith added.

Izzie looked at Meredith and sighed. "I know that," she said "It's not like I would ever consider doing anything with him," she lied. The thought had most certainly crossed her mind, one too many times.

"A huh," Meredith said, walking away.

"Meredith, I'm serious!" Izzie yelled after her. She stood there for a moment, considering going after her friend to make her believe her, but she decided against it. Meredith knew her all too well, and there was no way she could make her believe a lie.

- - - - -

Izzie was sitting at the bar after her shift at the hospital had ended, keeping Meredith, who was currently drowning in her sorrows, company.

"He kissed that scrub nurse," Meredith said, downing another shot.

"Mer," Izzie said, trying to comfort her friend. She had heard George tell Meredith about Derek kissing some nurse named Rose. _Skank_, Izzie thought.

"He told me it meant nothing, and that I was the only girl in his life," she said, setting the glass down. "And he claims I'm not ready or whatever," she said, asking Joe for another shot.

"Well, are you?" Izzie asked. She knew Meredith, and Meredith wasn't exactly one to commit.

Meredith turned and looked at Izzie. "I don't know," she said, drinking her 6th shot in 10 minutes. "But I told him that I hoped Rose or whatever made him happy," she said, flipping the glass upside down, and slamming it a little too hard down on the bar.

"Whoa," came a familiar voice.

Izzie turned to see Mark Sloan standing behind Meredith.

"Doctor Sloan," Izzie addressed him, trying her best not to blush like a _little school girl_, as Meredith had called her.

"Its Mark," he corrected her, as he smiled. "This seat taken?" he asked with his signature grin, motioning to the one on Izzie's other side.

"No," she said, feeling incredibly warm.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked, his expression changing as he looked at Meredith.

"McDrea- uh, Doctor Shepherd, kissed some scrub nurse," Izzie said, feeling extremely embarrassed that she almost called Derek 'McDreamy' in front of Mark.

Mark laughed slightly. "I see," he said, already having heard of what had happened between Derek and the nurse.

"Yeah, so now she's drinking away his memory," she said, watching Meredith down another.

"Meredith."

Izzie turned to see Derek standing on the other side of Meredith.

"You do not get to say my name," she said, looking down at the bar, feeling the effects of the tequilia.

"Meredith," he said again, stepping closer.

"Seriously, just leave her alone," Izzie said angrily, looking up at Derek.

He looked at Izzie for a moment with annoyance, before deciding to ignore her.

"Meredith, come on. It didn't mean anything," he said, resting a hand on her arm. He very much regretted what he did. He knew there was no good excuse for what he did. Even though Meredith may have problems with commitment, she deserved better.

"Okay, you know what?" Izzie said, standing up from her bar stool. "Just leave her alone, you've hurt her enough."

"Doctor Stevens, this is between Meredith and I," Derek said, looking at Izzie. He didn't need her to go all defensive. He understood where she was coming from, protecting her friend and all, but what he needed was to just talk to Meredith.

Izzie laughed slightly as she stepped toward him theateningly. "Okay, you may be my boss at the hospital, but right now you're the guy who damaged my friend. So if you don't back the hell off, I-"

"Izzie," Mark said, pulling Izzie's arm, afraid of how angry she was getting "Calm down, he just-"

"You know, there's too much arguing in bars, I think I'm just gonna go," Meredith said, slurring her words slight, before getting up and stumbling out the door.

Derek glanced at Izzie before following Meredith out.

Izzie went to go after them, but was held back by Mark.

She whirled around and looked at him angrily "Let go of me," she said, trying to pull her arm free.

"Let him go after her. Give him a chance," Mark said, siding with his friend.

"No. He keeps hurting her, and one person can only take so much before they eventually-"

Izzie's sentence was cut off by a few loud bangs, followed by a horrible, blood curdling, scream.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone! I just want to thank those who reviewed the first chapter-- _listentoyourheart555, Red Bess Rackham, journeyfan4life, BloomingViolets,_and _Melly_. I loved your thoughts, they are greatly appreciated. Oh and I just wanted to remind everyone that this is a story that is being redone and finished. Some reviewed and told me that there is another story with this title and asked if I could change mine. So I decided that if there was another Greys fanfic, that was not a songfic, that was published before my cousin published this story, that I would consider changing my title. So I looked and there were a few other stories titled "Beautiful Disaster" and the only one that was published before this one (under my cousins name) was a songfic. I personally dont mind if someone else has the same story title as me..simply because there are so many fanfics out there, that is basically impossible to not have ones with the same title...so it doesnt matter to me. But to answer that persons question, no I will not change the title of this story, because it was originally published on this site on 4-28-08... and the two others didnt get published until 11-30-08 and 1-05-09. So ya. Anyway, sorry for the rant, but I couldnt just PM the person because they were under Guest. So here is chapter 2. Hope you all like and please R&R!!

_--Nessa_

* * *

Chapter 2

Izzie looked at Mark for a brief second, her eyes growing wide with fear, before finally breaking free of his grip, and running outside. At first she didn't see anything that she hadn't already expected; just a few people gathered around something on the ground. But as she got closer, she realized it wasn't just _something_ on the ground, it was a person. It was Meredith. Izzie looked down at the puddle of blood that was gathering around her friend's unmoving form.

"Meredith," she whispered, staring down in shock.

"Izzie," She heard Mark say distantly, as he came up next to her. "What happ-" he began, but followed her gaze. He looked down at Meredith's motionless body, then suddenly looked around. "Where's Derek?" he asked, unable to hide the panic in his voice.

Izzie didn't look though. She didn't even acknowledge Mark's presence. But then it suddenly kicked in. The gravity of the situation suddenly kicked in.

"Meredith!" Izzie yelled this time, bending down to check her friend's pulse. "She has a pulse, it's faint, but it's there," she said, looking up to find that Mark wasn't standing there anymore. She looked around and saw him a couple of feet away, crouched down next to someone else.

"Did anyone call 911?" Izzie asked, looking around, wondering what in the hell was taking so long. They needed to get here. They needed to save Meredith.

"Yes, they're on their way," some man said to her.

"The hospital is only across the street, how long does it take?" Izzie yelled, starting to panic. Izzie looked down and began searching for the source of the bleeding. She turned Meredith onto her side and saw a bullet wound in her back. "Shit," she said under her breath, as she tried to examine the wound. Izzie looked up to see the paramedics pulling out a stretcher.

- - - - -

George spotted Lexie walking down the hallway with a vase full of flowers and sighed deeply.

"Lexie!" he called out, catching up to her.

She turned to see him and smiled. "Hey George! Look, I found some more flowers. Don't you think they'd look great by the-"

"Lexie, you can't keep taking stuff from the hospital," he whispered to her, as he looked around to make sure no one saw her.

"Well the patient just left them in her room, so I figured since they were going to throw them out anyway, I might as well use them," she said, hoping he would see her point.

"Yeah, but-" he began, but his pager went off. He looked down and saw it read 911 just as Lexie's went off too.

"911," she said, knowing they were paged for the same thing. She set the flowers down and followed George to the ER.

"What've we got?" he asked, looking at Doctor Bailey.

"There was a shooting at Joe's and they're bringing in the gunshot victims," Bailey said, heading out the door. She pushed open the door with George following closely behind.

The ambulance pulled up as soon as they stepped outside, and the doors flew open. George looked up, and to his surprise saw Izzie standing there.

"Izzie?" he asked, feeling confused. Even if her shift hadn't been over, why would she be riding in the back of an ambulance.

"Female in her 20's, gunshot wound to the mid back," the paramedic said, taking the stretcher out.

"It's Meredith," Izzie said, stepping out with the stretcher, refusing to leave her friend's side.

George looked down, and to his horror, Meredith was indeed lying there, unconscious.

Bailey watched as Izzie and George took Meredith away and was tempted to follow, but was shaken from her thoughts by Lexie suddenly appearing at her side.

"Sorry Doctor Bailey, I was caught up in there," she said, smiling. "Are the gunshot victims here yet?" she asked, eager to help. She was completely oblivious as to who was just taken inside the hospital.

"Uh, yes, one was already taken in. Theres another one coming though," she said, as she heard the sirens and saw the ambulance pull up. The doors opened and Bailey was again, greeted by a familiar face.

"Move out of my way!" Doctor Mark Sloan shouted as they pulled the stretcher out.

Bailey looked down to see Derek Shepherd lying on the stretcher.

"Dear God," Bailey said, following Mark into the hospital.

- - - - -

"Its lodged in there pretty far," Izzie said, examining the bullet wound. She finally got a hold of the bullet and was trying to extract it when the heart monitor went off. Izzie looked up and swore under her breath. "She's losing too much blood!" she yelled.

She knew that if she could just get the bullet out and close the wound, she could stop the blood flow and Meredith would be okay. Finally she got the bullet out and dropped it into the pan. She prepared to stitch up the wound when the monitor flat lined.

Izzie looked up and stared at the monitor, frozen in fear.

- - - - -

"He's lost too much blood," Bailey said, throwing away yet another blood soaked cloth.

"No he hasn't," Mark said, as he noticed Derek's heart rate drop. "He's not breathing!" he said, moving to start CPR.

"Paddles!" Bailey said, as Derek flat lined. "Mark, move!" she yelled, reaching out for the paddles. "Charging at 200!" she said, placing the paddles to his chest.

Mark watched as Derek's body jolted, then fell back to the table. "Derek," he said, feeling completely helpless.

- - - - -

"Doctor Stevens!" someone yelled, snapping Izzie back to reality.

"Give me the paddles!" Izzie said, holding out her hands. "Charging at 200!" she said, as she shocked her friend. She watched the monitor and saw no change. "Again, charging at 300!" she yelled, before shocking her once again.

- - - - -

Bailey looked down sadly as she stepped away from the operating table.

"D-Doctor Bailey, are you going to call it?" Lexie asked, as tears filled her eyes.

Bailey looked at Lexie for a moment before looking over at the clock. "Time of Death, 23-"

"No!" Mark yelled as he began CPR again. "I will not give up. I will not let you die. You hear me Derek? You can't die, you can't leave me!" Mark screamed as he pressed down on Derek's chest, hoping against hope that he could save his only friend.

- - - - -

Izzie ripped off her scrub cap as she hurried out of the OR.

"Izzie!" George called after her.

Izzie hurried away, not wanting to talk to anyone at the moment. She just needed to get away, and think. She ran around the corner and into the nearest linen closet. She shut the door behind her and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She opened her eyes and saw Mark Sloan sitting there on the floor, staring blankly at her.

She opened her mouth to say something, but found herself unable to speak. She just simply looked at him, as if silently asking if he was okay.

He looked at her for a moment before looking away. He didn't want her to see him like this. He didn't usually let people see the softer, more vulnerable side.

Izzie walked towards him and sat down next to him, taking his hand in hers. He looked down at her hand and gave it a tight squeeze, communicating to her that he was thankful that she was there.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everyone! Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I had finals at school, and then I had to move out, and then I was out of town, so yeah, I've been super busy. Anyway, I'd like to thank _listentoyourheart555_ and _Red Bess Rackham _for reviewing chapter 2. I loved your reviews! Oh and a special thanks to **Red** (_Red Bess Rackham_) for being my beta. You're the best!! Well here is chapter 3. Please R&R!!

_--Nessa_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Izzie stared at the monitor, waiting, hoping, for any change. She wasn't sure how long she had been there, but not a single thing had changed in the entire time she'd been there. The stats were exactly the same as they had been the moment she walked through that door. She sighed deeply as she put her head in her hands.

She wanted to be there for Meredith when she woke up, but she was in desperate need of sleep. Normally, she could count on Derek to be here for her friend, but now that just wasn't possible. Derek was gone. Derek Shepherd was dead, and he wasn't coming back. Meredith, unlike Derek, had survived the shooting. Izzie still couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that someone could do something that terrible to someone she knew. Izzie had of course been aware of the crime that occurred in the city, but why Meredith and Derek? Why outside of Joe's bar? Those were questions she wasn't sure if she'd ever find the answer to.

She knew she couldn't just sit here and wait for something to happen. She was too restless and as long as she just sat there, the horrible images from the night before would keep running through her mind. Images of finding Meredith lying there, surrounded by a puddle of blood. She shook her head, stood up and pulled her jacket on. She walked over to the bed and laid a gentle hand on Meredith's arm.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more," she said quietly, choking back tears. "You have to pull through this. You have to wake up," she whispered. She turned around and walked out of the room. She paused at the doorway and turned back to take a final look at her friend, before leaving the hospital.

* * *

Mark was sitting on the bench outside of the hospital as the rain poured down on him. He came out here quite some time ago, but found himself unable to go back to his lonely hotel room. He was use to living alone, but he wouldn't be able to sleep, so what was the use of going to his room. Derek had just been over there the night before, drinking with him. And now if he went back, he would be reminded of him and just have to endure the eerie silence. He clenched his fist as tears slowly fell from his eyes. Why hadn't he been able to save him? He could have acted quicker, or done something different. Derek had just begun to trust him again, and now he let him down. He had once again failed his best friend.

"I let you down," Mark whispered to the darkness.

"Doctor Sloan," Izzie said.

Mark ignored her and continued to stare ahead.

Izzie stood beside him for a moment before stepping into his view. "Mark," she tried again softly.

This time he looked up. He could see the worry and exhaustion on her face, but wasn't sure why she was talking to him right then.

"Shouldn't you go home?" she asked, feeling worried about him.

"I live in a hotel Stevens," he said shortly.

Izzie regarded him sadly and sighed. "Well are you going to go to your hotel?" she asked instead.

"No," he answered, turning away, wishing for her to just leave him be. He was not in the mood to talk to anyone, let alone someone who seemed determined to be concerned about him.

"Get up," Izzie said, abruptly. She was not going to let him do this to himself. He wasn't the only one grieving and she wasn't going to let him sit here in the rain all night.

"What?" he asked, as he faced her, feeling a little surprised by her tone.

"I'm not going to just leave you here, so you're staying at my house tonight," she stated firmly, sounding stronger than she felt.

"Stevens, I'm perfectly fine where I am," he said, but his voice began to crack, betraying him. He was in no way fine, but he would never admit that to this young resident.

"You can either come willingly or I'll physically make you. But either way, you are coming with me," Izzie extended a hand to him.

Mark stared at her hand for a moment, contemplating saying no again, but he simply didn't have the strength to argue with her anymore. He sighed as he took her hand, and stood up slowly.

She gripped his hand tightly and led him to her car. She was extremely glad that he had come willingly, because she didn't know what she would have done if he had said no again.

* * *

Mark woke up the next morning and, at first, had no idea where he was. His first thought was that he had another one night stand, and didn't get out in time. Then he suddenly remembered the events from the night before. He had to fight hard to prevent tears from escaping his eyes. He just couldn't believe that Derek was gone. His best friend was gone. Mark had been an only child, and Derek had been the only brother like person Mark had ever known. And now he would never again laugh with him or even argue with him. He would never again get to just sit there and bull shit with him. Derek was gone, and never coming back.

He had been sitting there for a few minutes before the sweet aroma met his senses. He sniffed the air and wrinkled his eyebrows. Someone was making something, and he suddenly realized how hungry he was. He stood up to go see what was being cooked, when he realized he was only wearing boxers. He didn't quite remember taking his clothes off before falling asleep, but somehow his clothes were no longer on his body. He looked on the floor, before spotting them on the chair by the bed. They were neatly folded with a note on top of them.

_Mark,_

_Your clothes were soaked last night, so I took the liberty of washing and drying them. Your wallet and things are on the night stand. You can come down to the kitchen whenever you're ready._

_Izzie_

Mark smiled to himself as he began pulling his pants on. That Izzie Stevens was quite unique and he couldn't help but smile at the thought of her. He read the note once more before tucking it safely inside his back pocket. He smiled once again before heading down to the kitchen.

He walked into the kitchen and saw Izzie standing at the oven with a batch of muffins in her hands.

"You bake?" he raised an eyebrow.

Izzie looked up and smiled. "Yeah, it's my thing," she said, setting the tray on the counter.

"Your thing?" he asked as he walked towards her.

"Yeah," she nodded as she took the muffins off of the tray. "When I want to not think about something, I bake." She finished taking the muffins off the tray, then grabbed more batter.

"Is laundry your thing too?" he smirked, sitting down at the counter.

"It's not my thing, but I'm more than happy to do it," she shrugged and smiled at him.

"Thank you," Mark said after a moment, looking at her seriously.

"For doing your laundry?" she paused briefly to look up at him.

"No, for last night…or well, this morning," he said as he dropped his gaze to his hands. "If you hadn't made me come here, I'm not sure what I would have done," he said in all honesty, as he looked down at his hands.

Izzie smiled warmly "You're welcome," she replied quietly. She regarded him for a moment before going back to her baking.

"Do you only make muffins?" he asked a minute or so later, nodding at the four trays of muffins.

"Oh no," Izzie said, putting the next batch in the oven. "I made cookies too, and I can bake just about anything. I can cook some things too, but I'm not that good at cooking Turkey," she winced, remembering when she tried to make Thanksgiving dinner. "But I make some pretty delicious pancakes. Do you want some?" She immediately grabbed a pan, all ready to make him breakfast.

Mark chuckled softly. "No, it's alright," he said, smiling.

"No, you should eat," she said as she walked over to the cupboard. She reached up for the pancake batter but was stopped. She turned around to see Mark had left his seat at the counter and had a hold on her arm.

"You're used to taking care of people aren't you?" he was standing very close, eyeing her knowingly.

"I don't mind," she said earnestly, looking at him.

"But you don't need to take care of me," he said quietly.

"How do you know? Maybe that's all you really need, is someone to-"

Her words were suddenly cut off by Mark pressing his lips to hers. He wasn't exactly sure why he did it. Maybe it was because she was helping him while he grieved for his best friend or how she'd brought him in from the rain. Maybe it was because of the way her hair was up but falling out or the way her eyes were somehow glowing just a little while she baked trays of muffins. Maybe it was because she was there, caring, when no one else was.

Izzie was frozen. She hadn't been expecting it to happen and it took her brain a moment to finally catch up with everything. Without thinking further, she slowly began to kiss him back, and it was like something inside her suddenly woke up. She quickly wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his face even closer to hers.

Mark put his hands around her as well then lifted her up onto the counter. She wrapped her legs around his waist, hugging his body. Izzie knew exactly where this was going, but couldn't seem to stop herself – it felt so wild, unexpected, and so_ good_. She knew this probably wasn't the best idea and she didn't care. She was mid-way through removing his buckle when she heard something drop.

"Izzie?"

She broke the kiss and looked over Mark's shoulder.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone! Sorry about the delay of this chapter...I have a feeling I wont be able to update as quickly as I've done with stories in the past. I have way more going on now than I use to, so hopefully you'll all bare with me. I want to thank _Red Bess Rackham_, _merder4ever33_, and _Star of CTTV _for reviewing chapter 3...I love and appreciate all of your reviews!! And also a special thanks to **_Red_** for being an awesome beta!! Anyway, here is the next chapter, hope you all like it! Please R&R!!

--_Nessa_

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"Izzie?"

Izzie broke the kiss and looked over Mark's shoulder to see George standing there. Her eyes widened as Mark set her back down on the floor. He re-fastened his buckle as Izzie tried to pull herself together.

"George," she said, not really knowing what to say to him.

George just stood there, his mouth slightly ajar. He had stopped by so that he and Izzie could go into the hospital together to see Meredith, and had walked in on something he'd rather burn from his memory

"What are you doing here?" she asked as her face reddened.

"Meredith's awake." He paused momentarily while Izzie readjusted her shirt. "I came to get you. I thought you'd want to see her, but if you're-"

"Yeah, let me just get my purse," she said quickly before turning the oven off and darting out of the kitchen.

George glanced at Mark, who in turn dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Okay, let's go," Izzie returned, purposefully not looking at him or Mark.

"Uh, Izzie," George said uneasily as Izzie started out the door.

"What?" she asked and turned back toward him.

George nodded in Mark's direction. Izzie reluctantly let her eyes follow George's gaze and saw Mark standing there, looking as uncomfortable as she felt. She of course felt bad for not saying anything, but was rather too embarrassed to say much at the moment.

"Oh, right. Uh, you're welcome to stay while we're gone. Just lock the front door when you leave." And with that she hurried out of the house, wanting to avoid any conversations he might have wanted to have.

Izzie paused once outside of Meredith's room. "Has anyone told her yet?" she asked George.

"Not unless someone told her while I was gone." He whispered, not wanting to think about how Meredith would react.

Izzie peered inside the room and saw Cristina sitting there, just staring at Meredith. From what Izzie could tell, Meredith still looked extremely weak. She was definitely awake and alert, but it didn't seem as if she had a lot in her. Izzie sighed and looked over at George.

"This might not go over very well," she said quietly.

"You're going to tell her?" George asked, sounding alarmed.

"We have to George. She would want to know right away." She sighed at the look on his face. "Wouldn't you want to know if… if the love of your life was dead," she finished in a whisper.

George gave her a strange look and Izzie had a pretty good idea of what he was thinking. She glanced away from him and took a deep breath before walking in.

Meredith looked up at Izzie and George and smiled faintly.

"Hey Mer," Izzie moved to stand at her side and rested her hand on her friend's.

"Hey Izz," Meredith said feebly.

"How are you feeling?" Izzie asked, already knowing the answer.

"Like I've been shot," Meredith whispered gravely.

Izzie mentally kicked herself for the question and gave Meredith a sympathetic smile.

"You have the day off?" Meredith asked, seeing that Izzie was the only one standing there without scrubs.

"Yeah, Bailey told me to take the day off since…" Izzie trailed off.

"Because of me?" Meredith raised her eyebrow confusedly. She wondered why Izzie would get the day off and not the others.

"I was the main doctor who, um, operated on you," Izzie said awkwardly.

"Oh," Meredith said, slightly surprised. "Well thanks," she added softly.

They were both quiet for a moment before they both started laughing, though nothing was particularly funny.

"Hey, who forgot to invite me to the party?" Alex came through the door way with a food tray and a smile on his face.

"Is that for me?" Meredith questioned.

"The jello is," he told her in all seriousness, handing her the jello and a spoon before sitting down.

Izzie rolled her eyes as she watched him begin to eat.

"Hey, some of us have been working hard here while you were at home sleeping comfortably," he said with his mouth full.

"Not me," Izzie said, thinking of her sleepless night on the couch.

"Oh yeah, that's right. Sloan was over," Alex smirked.

"Sloan was over?" Meredith swiveled her head from Alex to Izzie in surprise.

"Yeah, he was there when I picked Izzie up," George carefully did not make eye contact with Izzie.

"Wait, you took him home with you last night?" Cristina finally spoke for the first time since they had gotten there.

"Well yeah, I couldn't just leave him sitting all alone outside," Izzie said without thinking. She glanced at Meredith who was looking extremely confused. Izzie then realized that she'd been so wrapped up in the small talk with Meredith, that she had completely forgotten that her friend was unaware of her boyfriend's fate.

"Wait, why was he sitting outside alone?" Meredith asked before Izzie could stop the conversation from happening.

The room suddenly went silent as everyone looked sadly at Meredith or tried to avoid looking at her all together.

"What?" she shifted uneasily, not liking feeling that she was completely out of the loop.

"Meredith," Izzie began. "There's something that you need to know."

"What?"

"It's about Derek," Izzie said quietly.

"Oh," Meredith rolled her eyes angrily. "No, I don't want to talk about him. If anything he should have been the first one to visit me. He should be at my bedside groveling. I mean if he hadn't chased me-"

"Meredith," Izzie's whisper cut Meredith off and her eyes starting to sting.

Meredith knew something was very wrong. "Why isn't he here?" She asked shakily, dreading the answer.

"Last night, when you guys ran out of the bar..." Izzie started and found it very difficult to continue.

"Izzie, where is Derek?" Meredith demanded as fear rose inside her.

"He was shot," Izzie answered, feeling her eyes water.

"Well, is he okay?" Meredith's eyes filled with tears as well and her heart was pounding.

"He... he didn't make it. Mark did everything he could, but Derek had already lost too much blood, and..." Izzie tried to explain, choking back her tears

A tear slid down Meredith's cheek as she stared down at her hands. This was impossible, this couldn't be happening. They had to be lying. They had to be wrong. Misinformed, something. There was no way this could be the truth.

She raised her eyes to meet Izzie's. "You waited until _now_ to tell me?"

"I was going to tell you, but I-"

"You what? Decided to make me feel better right before you tore my heart out?" Meredith said harshly.

"Meredith," Cristina put her hand on her friend's arm soothingly.

"No!" she yelled and shook Cristina off. "You're just as bad. You sat there the whole time and never once tried to tell me!"

"Meredith, please," Izzie pleaded.

"Get out," she spit at them.

"Mer-" George started.

"I said… get _out_!" she screamed. They didn't know what else to do, so they hurried one by one toward the door and left, not daring to look back.

Once everyone had gone, Meredith looked down at her shaking hands. She was breathing very rapidly and it seemed like the more she tried to stop, the worse it got. She buried her face in her hands and cried out, and then began sobbing uncontrollably.


End file.
